How To Heal from Public Shame: "Killer Mike"
Michael “Killer Mike” Render has the media in a frenzy this week after his public humiliation, being arrested after winning Best Rap Song, Best Rap Performance, and Best Rap Album at the Grammys. In one evening, Killer Mike experienced two extremes -from public praise to public shame. No doubt, this was a traumatic experience for the performer.
The incident is reminiscent of Will Smith’s experience at the Oscars. Smith reacted to a joke that the host, Chris Rock, made about Smith’s wife, Jada. Smith got up on the stage and slapped Rock across the face. Later that evening, Smith won Best Lead Actor for King Richard, and used his acceptance speech to apologize for the incident.
The video of Mike in handcuffs along with the video of “The Slap Heard Around The World” create an uncomfortable feeling that is hard to articulate.
As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, I would welcome the chance to help Mike process this excruciating event in therapy. The goal of therapy would be to enable Mike to move forward with his mental health intact. An eclectic approach to his therapy would be best as the issues are so complex. First off, I would ask Mike what he wants to work on. Of course, I would customize my approach based on how he presents and what he shares.
I imagine he would first tell me the story of what happened, moment by moment, in his own words. Giving meaning to the experience would be a long term goal that we would work toward.
Another avenue for therapy would be to explore Mike’s thoughts and emotions regarding the event. I would help Mike dig in deep to gain awareness of how other life events triggered the maladaptive behavior (pushing the security guard on his way up to the stage) in the first place. We would also delve into what thoughts and emotions are coming up now that can be tied to experiences from the past. A topic we would examine is the importance of public validation for Mike. We could work on his cognitive distortions and core beliefs that are faulty and need to change.
Addressing pride versus shame in our sessions is critical. We could work through how to accept the negative attention and the arrest, while acknowledging the fact that his talent is recognized globally.
If Mike presents with symptoms of trauma, I would provide tools for regulating his nervous system.
There is a lot of press about Smith’s healing process. People Magazine explained that Smith sought therapy and went to study in an Ashram. If true, I assume that this was a positive experience in many ways, maybe life altering.
I hope Mike gets the help he needs. Then, he can continue sharing his talents and lead a fulfilling and healthy life.