When It’s Not Just Shopping…
“I need to make a confession,” my client said quietly at the start of our session. “I found a new app—and it’s dangerous.”
For confidentiality, I’ll call her Amy. She went on to describe WhatNot, a live auction app for brand-name products where users can bid in real time. “It’s addictive,” she admitted. “I’ve been on a spending binge.”
Amy had struggled with impulsivity in the past, but she’d made real progress over the years. This, however, felt different. Within weeks, she had no money for groceries. Her bank account was overdrawn, credit cards maxed out. When she wasn’t scrolling through the app, she was thinking about it—what she’d missed, what she might win next time.
The New Face of Compulsive Spending
Unlike the old days of eBay or Facebook Marketplace, these new platforms are designed to hook us. They combine urgency (“Only 30 seconds left!”), emotional connection with charismatic sellers, and the dopamine rush of competition. Every scroll, click, and “win” reinforces the behavior. It’s not just shopping—it’s behavioral conditioning in real time.
And for some, that can become a serious problem.
When Overspending Becomes a Disorder
Overspending crosses into disorder territory when it shifts from being a once-in-a-while indulgence to a persistent, distressing, and impairing pattern—one that disrupts your life, creates shame, or causes significant financial and emotional consequences.
Here are some signs that it’s more than just shopping:
Feeling a wave of tension or excitement before buying—and relief or euphoria afterward
Purchasing items you don’t need, can’t afford, or never use
Hiding or lying about spending from loved ones
Avoiding bills or ignoring the reality of debt
Constantly thinking about shopping, products, or future purchases
“Closing the Doors”
As a therapist who specializes in compulsive disorders, one of the first steps I navigate with clients is how to Close the Doors. That means cutting off access to spending opportunities: deleting apps, blocking websites, reducing credit card limits, or asking a trusted person to help manage accounts.
These are not punishments—they’re protective measures. By reducing the constant exposure to triggers, clients can focus on healing rather than constantly fighting temptation.
The Power of Support and Accountability
Recovery doesn’t happen in isolation. When possible, I engage family members in the process. Together, we build transparency, reduce shame, and foster accountability. Loved ones can help with budgeting, debt management, and emotional support.
Rebuilding trust around money takes time. It requires honesty, patience, and consistency—from both the individual and their support system.
Building Motivation and Changing the Mind
Ultimately, long-term recovery from compulsive spending depends on internal motivation—a genuine desire to change. In therapy, we work to strengthen that motivation while developing tools for emotional regulation and distress tolerance.
We also tackle the underlying cognitive distortions—the “stinkin’ thinkin’” that fuels impulsive behavior:
“I deserve this.”“It’s just one more purchase.”“I’ll make up for it later.”
When clients learn to challenge these thought patterns, they gain clarity and control. The goal is not deprivation—it’s freedom.
If you or someone you love could use support, contact Kati Kristol, LCSW at katikristollcsw@gmail.com or call 561-367-5732.